Tarana Burke: It was after we did #SharetheMic on social media, in the summer of 2020. Add to Favorites Lean on me, and I'll lean on you And together, we'll get through We always do" Inspirational saying. Being at family gatherings, being at cultural gatherings, watching the young people I worked with, knowing what they were like in our private spaces when they were open and free and then watching them in public spaces and saying, “Oh, my gosh, this is going to kill us.” And then this idea of shame resilience added another “Aha,” because my first thought was, “Oh, but shame hasn’t killed us yet.” Then I started asking myself, “Why hasn’t it?” I’ve learned it’s because there’s this powerful resilience that we’ve tapped into, but have yet to name. I mean full-on, unfiltered, unaware—just sheer joy. Powell’s We both used the word shame long before most people could stomach it. why I feel like this book is so critical. As the perfect people start staring at her, I’m reduced to this moment where I have to decide, Am I going to betray her and roll my eyes and say, “Ellen, settle down,“ or am I just going let her do her thing—let her be joyful and unashamed? Tarana: Exactly! I had the same experience with another girlfriend of mine, Thenmozhi Soundararajan, a Dalit Indian woman who does work around sexual violence among her people. I texted, “Can we talk?” and you texted back, “Sure.” Once we got on the phone and I shared the idea, the first thing you said was, “Oh hell, yeah. When you say, “I don’t trust any antiracism work that doesn’t embrace and see our humanity,” I can feel the call for love. In private, I was having these really heartfelt conversations with Black folks who were just struggling: I can’t watch any more of this. YOU ARE THE BEST THING CHORDS (ver 6) by Ray LaMontagne @ Ultimate-Guitar.Com Spring Sale: Pro Access 80% OFF And in co-creation projects, lived experience should not only take the authorship lead, it should take a financial lead where it can, which is why all of my proceeds from this book are going back to storytellers in the Black community. My lived experience told me that the entire idea and experience of vulnerability feels like a very dangerous place to play, an unsafe thing to even consider or think about as a Black person in this country. Music notes for sheet music by Ray LaMontagne : Jordan Clawson at Sheet Music Plus. get comments, especially from Black women and men: “I had to work at it more to see myself in it than I would have preferred or I would have liked to or that I even should have had to.” Finally, it was the combination of a conversation with you and a conversation with Austin Channing Brown on her TV show, he problem isn’t the research. Did you scroll all this way to get facts about you are the best thing? It was after we did #SharetheMic on social media, in the summer of 2020. To learn more about the anthology contributors, visit our You Are Your Best Thing page. We just connected quickly and became fast friends. It’s that we’ve created a culture that makes it unsafe for you to be vulnerable. D tuning [Verse] C G Am F Baby, Its been a long day, C G Am F C G Am Baby, Things ain't been going my way you know i need you here F G Here by … So when you asked me if we. As I read your work about vulnerability being the foundation of courage and the birthplace of love and joy and trust—these are the places that didn’t fit. Tarana: Absolutely. You too? ou still said, “Are you sure you want me to do it with you? Brené: One of the things that I learned a lot about is the unrelenting nature of intergenerational trauma. As the perfect people start staring at her, I’m reduced to this moment where I have to decide. Tarana: I didn’t understand that at all at first, but I get it now. My lived experience told me that the entire idea and experience of vulnerability feels like a very dangerous place to play, an unsafe thing to even consider or think about a, Black person in this country. You are the best thing Lyrics Art Print, Lyrics Print, ray lamontagne Lyrics, Bedroom Art Print, you are the best thing that ever happened TheLlamaDesigns 4.5 out of 5 stars (71) $ 20.74. Me too.” No pun intended. And I just want us to see ourselves in this differently, to see our inside, t want to show people, the parts that we don, t talk about often, the parts that we feel we have to cover and hide and keep away from the world in order to survive, in order to exist. Our humanity, our individual and collective vulnerability, needs and deserves some breathing room. I get it so fully right now. We have a close enough friendship to talk about anything. n private, I was having these really heartfelt conversations with Black folks who were just struggling: I can’t watch any more of this. The marrow of it. Just as I start to go into some shame, a pop song starts playing and Ellen breaks out into the robot. F C Dm A# Baby, Its been a long day, F C Dm A# F C Dm Baby, Things ain't been going my way you know i need you here A# C Here by my side, all of the time F C Dm A# Baby, the way you move me You are—this sounds really corny—an embodiment of your work, of the research, of the knowledge. And so I was thinking to myself that I really wanted to have a conversation with you. Does that make sense? It’s very tricky, but I do think this is a great moment for us to stop and focus on and give real attention to what effective dismantling looks like and requires. Our hearts are strong and our hearts are kind. There were very similar issues, very similar consequences, but very, , a Dalit Indian woman who does work around sexual violence among her people. And we just keep trying to reshape the same tools that we use to dismantle the ever-changing systems. LaMontagne has released eight studio albums, Trouble, Till the Sun Turns Black, Gossip in the Grain, God Willin' & the Creek Don't Rise, Supernova, Ouroboros, Part of the Light, and Monovision. Your Amazon Music account is currently associated with a different marketplace. I feel such a sense of responsibility and protectiveness about the stories we’ve asked people to share for this anthology. Is that a rule, like an academic rule? s what we need to understand: In co-creation, lived experience always trumps academic experience. Am I going to betray her and roll my eyes and say, “Ellen, settle down. One of the things that I learned a lot about is the unrelenting nature of intergenerational trauma. and love. I will never forget that phone call. The last thing I ever wanted to do was put work in the world around shame, vulnerability, and courage, then make people feel like they had to do something extra to find themselves in it. In addition to telling my story, which I think is helpful, I want to co-create so people see themselves in this work. And in co-creation projects, lived experience should not only take the authorship lead, it should take a financial lead where it can. You are the best thing. It’s a great story about choosing my daughter over acceptance by strangers, but I, ve shopped with enough Black friends to know that if I was not dressed up—even if I was dressed up—and I was in a department store and my Black daughter broke into a dance, there would be a whole other set of variables to consider. And so to that end, I feel like the audience for this book is first and foremost Black people, right? Brené: Was your hope for the book, then, that it lands in the hands and hearts of Black folks who’ve had that experience that you’ve had, where you’re like, “Oh, my God. So I definitely get the fear and reluctance, but I believe good stewardship takes both of us. Tarana: We need to live in an antiracist society and people need to learn to be antiracist and practice antiracism. The most popular color? It should be. I was forced to contort myself and try to understand my reaction of, “Oh, no. Tarana: I don’t believe your antiracist work is complete or valid or useful if you haven’t engaged with Black humanity. Brené: Lived experience has got to take the lead. A Citi Mobile App user looks up from sending a payment to the babysitter just in time to see their partner performing an goofy orange-peel magic trick. Now I am happy. Including being hassled by security, possibly separated from my daughter, even arrested. I know the stories in this book can change—even save, people’s lives. She was a Vietnamese woman who also did work against sexual violence, also with young girls. You have to engage with Black humanity, because the expansiveness of our humanity is so great that it reaches to other people. She was a Vietnamese woman who also did work against sexual violence, also with young girls. t believe your antiracist work is complete or valid or useful if you haven. And my hope is that co-creating this anthology with these incredible storytellers and writers helps us name it. . You are—this sounds really corny—an embodiment of your work, of the research, of the knowledge. You’re the Best Thing About Me Lyrics: When you look so good, the pain in your face doesn't show / When you look so good and baby, you don't even know / … We have to know the road if we’re going to walk back down it and dismantle the systems that lead us to trauma. Barnes & Noble I think we can translate it because collecting and sharing these stories is breath and space and the act of seeing people. Tarana: These pages are breathing room for our humanity. Standard tuning with no capo, best for acoustic guitar. But I started to get comments, especially from Black women and men: “I had to work at it more to see myself in it than I would have preferred or I would have liked to or that I even should have had to.” Finally, it was the combination of a conversation with you and a conversation with Austin Channing Brown on her TV show, where I thought, the problem isn’t the research. It’s not like Black people don’t have anything to learn about the Black experience. There’s words for this. The research resonates with a diverse group of people because it’s based on a diverse sample. Always love. Tarana: That’s so interesting, right? I mean full-on, unfiltered, unaware—just sheer joy. It started when I first saw you, when I fell in love with you. s concept of lovelessness and how she talks about lovelessness as the root of white supremacy and the patriarchy and all forms of oppression. Vulnerability means something very different to me.” That was a big learning for me—just naming vulnerability and talking about it and thinking about it. Those two things have to be in tandem. That’s the rub right there. This is our first time really digging into your. You Are The Best Thing Happened In My Life Poem by Sam Arjomandi. The most common you are the best thing material is ceramic. Please say that again. There are some things that have improved for Black people in the United States, and then there are other things that are exactly the same but with new faces. I think we can. Apple Books Go directly to shout page. You Are Your Best Thing features essays from (left to right, ordered as they appear in the anthology) — Row 1: Jason Reynolds, Austin Channing Brown, Tanya Fields, Kiese Makeba Laymon, Prentis Hemphill; Row 2: Tracey Michae’l Lewis-Giggettes, Marc Lamont Hill, Keah Brown, Luvvie Ajayi Jones, Shawn A. Ginwright; Row 3: Kaia Naadira, Deran Young, Sonya Renee Taylor, Irene Antonia … Brené Brown: We could start the story of this book when you texted me to ask if we could talk, and I thought you wanted to continue our ongoing conversation about wallpaper and landscaping—but what came before that? You have my permission to use my work and do it.”, I get it. Tarana: Years ago, I went on a trip to Tunisia and it was for this big conference. Tarana Burke and Dr. Brené Brown bring together a dynamic group of Black writers, organizers, artists, academics, and cultural figures to discuss the topics the two have dedicated their lives to understanding and teaching: vulnerability and shame resilience. I end up choosing her and actually dancing with her. Connect your Spotify account to your Last.fm account and scrobble everything you listen to, from any Spotify app on any device or platform. You have been teaching and training this work for decades. I cannot . I thought I had controlled for that with my sample. Your questions make absolute sense and it also makes sense why you wanted to do this together. And in the course of three or four days of us just talking, talking, talking, talking, I learned so much more about what Asian women, particularly the Vietnamese girls she worked with, have to deal with every day. Brené: I think you can make it that. It’s like you’re telling us that if you don’t see the heart and the love and the humanity and the joy of the Black experience—of Black humanity—then the antiracism work is bankrupt. We always landed in the same places. Your questions make absolute sense and it also makes sense why you wanted to do this together. And I love that we have the ability to make this offering to Black folks who have felt stifled in this moment and overwhelmed and, : Was your hope for the book, then, that it lands in the hands and hearts of Black folks who’ve had that experience that you, t read many books about the Black experience that get past some of the first-layer stuff and really get into the heart work. Oh because, you are the best thing You are the best thing You are the best thing Ever happened to me. Citi encourages everyone to spend more moments in the moment with the Citi Mobile App with Zelle, which the bank says is designed for you … That’s another reason why antiracist work is important. It’s not just the research piece—there are other people who study these topics. You still said, “Are you sure you want me to do it with you? "You're the Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me" — also known simply as "Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me" — is a song written by Jim Weatherly, and produced by Don Law. And in the course of three or four days of us just talking, talking, talking, talking, I learned so much more about what Asian women, particularly the Vietnamese girls she worked with, have to deal with every day. So, yeah, I called and said all of that—but I was not as eloquent [laughter] at the time. going to walk back down it and dismantle the systems that lead. Listen Now Buy song $1.29. It’s a great story about choosing my daughter over acceptance by strangers, but I’ve shopped with enough Black friends to know that if I was not dressed up—even if I was dressed up—and I was in a department store and my Black daughter broke into a dance, there would be a whole other set of variables to consider. Brené: From my side, well, admittedly, I’d probably do anything you ask me to do. s another reason why antiracist work is important. And this is why I feel like this book is so critical. Our humanity, our individual and collective vulnerability, needs and deserves some breathing room. Brené: That makes so much sense. It was a delegation of folks from the United States, from all over. We could start the story of this book when you texted me to ask if we could talk, and I thought you wanted to continue our ongoing conversation about wallpaper and landscaping. But here’s the painful piece—it’s not like if you’re Black, you don’t need vulnerability to experience joy, belonging, intimacy,and love. I want this book to be a soft place to land. Scrobbling is when Last.fm tracks the music you listen to and automatically adds it to your music profile. this. We have to be good stewards of this information. Now both of us have known love before To come on up promising, like the spring, just walk on out the door Our hearts are strong and are hearts are kind Well, let me tell you what exactly is on my mind. We must pay attention to that road. This is our first time really digging into your grappling with this. I know as we read these powerful essays. oh because, [Chorus] A C#7 F#m D you are the best thing A C#7 F#m D you are the best thing A C#7 F#m E you are the best thing D E A ever happened to me [Verse 2] (Repeat that pattern half the length of the first verse) A E F#m D Baby, We’ve come a long way, baby. I believe the greatest casualty of trauma—including white supremacy, which is definitely a form of intergenerational systemic trauma—is that vulnerability becomes dangerous, risky, even life-threatening. Brené: I mean, just as each essay came in—. Tarana: I was about to say, that has to be a Brené rule, because I don’t know that all academics would agree. I don, talk about how this thing really bothers me—but I need to and I can only do that with some semblance of safety. It’s an honor to do this with you. I wanted to talk to you about adding to it: “What is the Black experience with shame resilience?” Because white supremacy has added another layer to the kind of shame we have to deal with, and the kind of resilience we have to build, and the kind of vulnerability that we are constantly subjected to whether we choose it or not. The song hit number five on Billboard's Adult Alternative Songs chart, and is currently his only single to chart on the Billboard Hot … I feel such a sense of responsibility and protectiveness about the stories we’ve asked people to share for this anthology. A E F#m D You know, I hope and I pray that you A E F#m D E believe me. It was a delegation of folks from the U, , from all over. They were experiencing it, of course. Brené: No. s about seeing the breadth of our humanity, and the depth of it, because this is the reality. Is that a rule, like an academic rule? Then walk on out the door. There is one thing that I think is important to clarify about our process of working together—especially for other researchers and creators who are thinking, “Okay, but how does co-creation actually work?” For starters, I wouldn’t have done the book without you agreeing to be the first author. I don’t want to talk about my insecurities. Brené: Yeah, it’s not like you need less. Vulnerability means something very different to me.” That was a big learning for me—just naming vulnerabil. . The song "You Are the Best Thing" was featured in the movie I Love You, Man and in the television series One Tree Hill.LaMontagne performed on Saturday Night Live in March 2009. Brené: I kept thinking about bell hooks’s concept of lovelessness and how she talks about lovelessness as the root of white supremacy and the patriarchy and all forms of oppression. I don, t want to talk about my insecurities. Brené: One of the things that struck me was, in The Gifts of Imperfection, there’s a scene where I’m in sweats and have dirty hair and I’m running up the Nordstrom escalator with my daughter to exchange some shoes that her grandmother bought her. I want to figure out how to better serve. Read Sam Arjomandi poem:Since, we met, life for me has a different meaning I want to kiss your hand for such a wonderful feeling. We need specific attention and action, not just general thoughts. It’s validating to see that even in our various identities and experiences, we engage in similar struggles, we have the same needs. But we must tear away the layers to reveal the core, then work our way back from that. I met this woman named Ra. t know what to make of this, but every time I read an essay, I had this really paradoxical experience of a deeper understanding of how much more I have to learn about the Black experience, yet I saw myself and connected deeply to the shared humanity of the yearnings. Raymond Charles Jack LaMontagne (born June 18, 1973) is an American singer-songwriter and musician. Target. I don’t want to sound all kumbaya and “we’re all just human beings” but we’re all just human beings whose experiences and environments and these systems have affected in different ways. I get it so fully right now. he timing was bigger than us. “Give our humanity breathing room.”. In addition to telling my story, which I think is helpful, I want to co-create so people see themselves in this work. We both used the word. It comes back to compassion and love. back to storytellers in the Black community. Me too.”, No pun intended. s all these perfect-looking people giving me the side-eye. You can support Black-owned bookstores by shopping on Bookshop or pre-order below: Amazon . I end up choosing her and actually dancing with her. We just connected quickly and became fast friends. Javascript is required to view shouts on this page. (you're the best thing, baby) You are the best thing. I think we can. These experiences create community, and it’s wonderful, but it is still critical to understand the very different paths that led you to the trauma. But the timing was bigger than us. The research resonates with a diverse group of people because it’s, the way I present my research to the world does. we both took turns feeling a little overwhelmed with the responsibility of protecting them. Was it overwhelming for you? A new version of Last.fm is available, to keep everything running smoothly, please reload the site. I don’t want to talk about how this thing really bothers me—but I need to and I can only do that with some semblance of safety. Brené: I’ve been doing this work for twenty-five years now. : This is the bones of it. s not familial trauma. Yes, I want to do this.” At that point I was just thinking, “Oh, and here I was worrying about offending you and wanting to have a real conversation.” So, that was the beginning from my side. Including being hassled by security, possibly separated from my daughter, even arrested. At first, I struggled to text you. I think I even feel different after this conversation, to be honest with you. “Give our humanity breathing room.”, I think you can make it that. . How can we get white people to be antiracist? That road is our humanity. Watch the video for You Are the Best Thing from Ray LaMontagne's Gossip In The Grain … LaMontagne has released eight studio albums, Trouble, Till the Sun Turns Black, Gossip in the Grain, God Willin' & the Creek D…, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License. I’m not alone”? It does. Always love. I thought I had controlled for that with my sample, because I’ve always been hypervigilant about diversity in the people I interview and data sources. But I do not believe in your antiracist work if you have not engaged with Black humanity. You too? You have been teaching and training this work for decades. Porchlight So I definitely get the fear and reluctance, but I believe good stewardship takes both of us. It comes back to compassion and love. I can’t take this anymore. t know. But you combine the research expertise with compassion. You have my permission to use my work and do it.”. But we must tear away the layers to reveal the core, then work our way back from that. ,” because my first thought was, “Oh, but shame hasn, t killed us yet.” Then I started asking myself, “Why hasn, ne thing that I think is important to clarify about our process of working together—especially for other researche, , but how does co-creation actually work?”, t have done the book without you agreeing to be the first author. They were experiencing it, of course. So when you asked me if we could focus the work through the lens of the Black experience, it was a “hell yes” from me. I kept asking myself, why am I hesitating to reach out to her? I know as we read these powerful essays, we both took turns feeling a little overwhelmed with the responsibility of protecting them. Just as I start to go into some shame, a pop song starts playing and Ellen breaks out into the robot. It’s like you’re telling us that if you don, t see the heart and the love and the humanity and the joy of the Black experience—of Black humanity, s just like knowing something intellectually but not feeling it, and this is feeling work. Unquestionably. Something happened to me that changed my life completely. Tarana: I get it. These experiences create community, and it. When you say, “I don, t embrace and see our humanity,” I can feel the call for love. We often carry our trauma in similar ways, but the roads that led us to the trauma are all so different. The song enjoyed two runs of popularity, each by an artist in a different genre. Yes, I want to talk about that. Ray LaMontagne. Immediately, I’m overwhelmed because I look and feel like shit, and there’s all these perfect-looking people giving me the side-eye. Antiracism became the order of the day. 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